Many shy people would love to be that extrovert who can walk into a crowded room and say hello to everyone in that positive, confident way. The shy person may find it difficult to engage with strangers at the party as they are not sure what to say. The cold weather has already been mentioned and the conversation has died.
The shy person will avoid situations in which they are the main focus. Their friends will be few but close ones.
The opposite to a shy person is the outgoing, gregarious, extrovert and seemingly very confident individual. In the extreme form it can manifest a very confident and boastful persona. But we are all different and there is no right or wrong personality type.
I have found from my coaching experience that shyness is a positive trait. It is often the trait of a thoughtful, deep-thinker which fits the Analyst type. Analysts react from a rational perspective and spontaneous small-talk is not their forte or focus nor within their thinking construct. They need a subject from which to develop an interactive conversation.
My heading “Shy is good” endeavours to allay the misconception that shyness is a negative trait but rather the manifestation of a particular personality type. So no longer envy that brash, outgoing party type. Be your shy, thoughtful self.
When I review my experience of coaching and interviewing thousands of executives and asked them to describe their personality, shy was the most common response. ‘I find it difficult making small talk with strangers’. Yet when talking about their job they were very animated and talkative which is understandable as it is related and well known territory.
I view shyness as an individual personality trait and do not make a valued judgement though some in society can wrongly consider it to be a personality weakness.
If you are the shy type you will also have the advantage of having excellent listening skills which is a prerequisite for effective communications.
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